Facing Fear

Hello, my friend!

Do you ever feel fearful?  Why is it that fear often accompanies depression?  Fear of the future, fear of trying something new.  Fear of going outdoors or fear of being in a group of people.  You know it’s just an emotion, right?  It’s just an emotion, like sadness or happiness.  We imagine it as a big scary monster that must be avoided.   When confronted by fear, we feel we must submit to its whim. 

WHY?

Why must you submit to its whim?

Throw open the door to face fear, and what are you actually going to see?  Nothing bigger than an ant.  It’s a nothing.  The more you face fear, the smaller it gets.  Watch it turn tail and run as you stand up to it.

Go ahead.  Think of something that frightens you, and make a point of facing it down this week.   Fear won’t have as much power over you next time.  Pretty soon you’ll feel you’ve got the world by the tail and can honestly say that very little in this life scares you.

Until next time.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

Physical Pain

Good morning!

How have you been this past week?  Have you been implementing your tools to conquer this depression?   I pray for your healing through God’s grace and strength, and that He’ll grant you endurance for the battle.  You will get well, my friend, in time.

Have you learned any new tools that you’d be willing to share?   I’d love to hear what you have come up with. 

People often think of depression and anxiety as a purely mental and emotional problem, but it’s not that simple, is it?  It affects every fiber of your being, physical as well as mental.   In fact, prior to being diagnosed with depression, I was positive that something serious was wrong with me.  I was in pain and went to several doctors, hoping someone could make the correct diagnosis.  I was checked from top to bottom.  When I was finally diagnosed with major depression and panic attacks, I was relieved, thinking that I’d go to a couple months of counseling and be well.  Not so simple, is it!?!?  Even after the correct diagnosis, it took a few months before I was completely convinced that I wasn’t suffering from a physical malady.  I was still in pain.

Sometimes the only thing that eased the pain was to stand in the shower with the water pouring over me.  Perhaps it was more of a distraction than anything else, but it helped a little, especially when I was coming off of the anti-anxiety medications. 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.  AND BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.  Slowly but surely, you’ll address the issues that got you to this point, and THEN you can move beyond.  What a beautiful day that will be!!!! 

Keep using your tools, and you will get well.

YOU WILL GET WELL!

Until next time.

Blessings, Elizabeth

Ban Worry

Hello!

How has your week been going?  Will you be doing your art project with clay this weekend?

Take the time you need to focus on recovery.  I daresay you have learned that life is too precious and short to want to lose a moment of it to depression or anxiety.  Add to that worry.  Don’t waste your time worrying about the past or what could happen in the future.  It doesn’t do any good.  I’ll say it again: WORRYING IS A WASTE OF TIME AND DOESN’T DO ANY GOOD.   If you are worried about something, give it to God and let it go.  If appropriate, also make concrete plans to address the issue.  But don’t squander away your life.  WORRY IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME.  

Don’t tell me, “That’s just the way I am.”  I don’t want to hear it.  You know that you can change that habit if you put your mind to it.  Do I think you’ll master it perfectly?  Probably not.  Who can?  But you can dramatically decrease the amount of time that you worry.  Won’t it be great when worry is the exception rather than the rule in your life?  (You’ll notice that you have less patience with excuses after conquering depression.  You know what can be done when you make a concerted effort.)

Here’s another quote for your collection:

²² And He [Jesus] said to His disciples, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  ²³ For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  ²⁴ Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!  ²⁵ And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?  ²⁶ If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?  ²⁷ Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.  ²⁸ But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you?  You men of little faith!  ²⁹ And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying.  ³⁰ For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.  ³¹ But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.  ³² Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.       —Luke 12: 22-32

Give up the worry!

I’ll be back next week.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

Shame

Good morning! 

Do you ever feel shame for being depressed?  Or anxious?  Or agoraphobic?  There is no need.  Having these conditions is no reason to feel ashamed.  They just are. 

Many times your illness has a biological cause.  Often it is combined with bad circumstances or poor decisions. 

There is also no reason to feel ashamed of your past, even if you made some foolish decisions, AS LONG AS YOU LEARN FROM THEM AND MOVE ON.  Each of us has a unique set of circumstances and decisions that make us who we are.  Like a tapestry, the threads of circumstance and choice are woven together to make you the beautiful creation that you are.  There may be some ugly knots underneath, but make sure you are focused on the finished product.  Slowly, patiently work each thread into the tapestry of your life.  Take the time to choose the most beautiful threads, the ones that are the strongest and most durable.  Imagine holding the needle and thread, working them in.  Your creation is all the more beautiful for having stronger threads redeeming those which are weak and frail.  The combination will be AMAZING!

Feel ashamed only if you choose to wallow in your illness or previous poor decisions.  Overcoming them, on the other hand, means triumph.  Wouldn’t life be far more boring if everything always rocked along smoothly and evenly?  Not that we don’t enjoy and long for those times in the midst of crisis!!!!  But your current heartache is your opportunity for a triumph moment that you will relish for the rest of your life.  Keep up the good work.  YOU’LL GET THERE!

I’ll be back on Thursday.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

Be Brave

Good morning! 

If it’s not raining where you are, today might be a good day to take a walk.  Being outside nurtures your soul.  Take note of every beautiful and interesting thing that you can.  Look at the objects themselves and their shadows.  Observe the patterns of nature and the multitude of colors.  Breathe in deeply to smell what is around and also to feel your lungs expanding to their maximum.  Then breathe through your mouth to taste those smells.  Listen closely.  The world is never entirely silent.  What do you hear?  Reach out and touch what you see, assuming it’s safe (and appropriate!).  How does the tree bark feel on your fingertips? 

Sometimes when you’re depressed, you can feel out of touch with your body.  Making a conscious effort to use your senses can help you reconnect.  I know you don’t feel whole right now.  This quiet, gentle exercise will be soothing to you. 

Not only does this exercise help you reconnect with your own body, it can help you reach out in a simple way to the world.  You’re an integral part of this world.  These walks can help you notice the other integral parts.  Parts that make a whole. 

I know this is tough if you’ve got a touch of agoraphobia going on in conjunction with your depression.  But take the risk.  You may not feel comfortable the first few times you do it, but after awhile you will. 

I was trying to teach my granddaughter how to swim on Monday.  I’ll tell you what I told her: Sometimes you have to be brave.  Any new skill requires bravery at the start, but once you get through the panic and fear, you’ll begin to learn and grow.  That’s when the fun starts.

YOU’LL BE FINE.  Just keep using every tool that you can to beat this thing.  AND BE BRAVE!

I’ll be back on Friday.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

Self-Loathing

Good morning! 

Depression is a battle, isn’t it?  And you have a hunch that you’re on the losing side.  Your head feels as though demons are rampaging through it, thrusting their spears into every quarter inch of your brain.  Your gut is often in spasms, and every ounce of energy has been sucked from you.  You feel completely depleted and out of control.  Do you relate?

Sometimes you may look with loathing at pictures of yourself from the past.  You hate the person you see because you hate where you now are in life.  You may feel that your body and mind have betrayed you as you thrash about through this illness.  I understand those feelings, because I sometimes had them, too.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.  Take some time to look at some of those old pictures of yourself with empathy.  Were you a child in the midst of a difficult family or school situation?  Look at that child with the love and mercy that you would show to someone else going through a similar situation.  Were you a slow learner or clumsy?  We all have different strengths and weaknesses.  Look at that child—you—and mentally wrap your arms around him/her.  Life can be tough.  Hold that child close until you can feel your heart softening and your self-loathing drifting away.  YOU ARE VALUABLE AND PRECIOUS.  Treat yourself as such, bestowing the same kindness to yourself as you do to others.  (You are kind to others, right?!?) 

Matthew 22:36-39 says, “’Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?’  Jesus said to him, ‘”You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”’”  What does that last sentence mean?  You are to love yourself, and then love others likewise.  This is a commandment.  If you do not love yourself, spend some time learning how and getting rid of the negative self-talk.  Would you speak to your neighbor as hatefully as you speak to yourself?  I seriously doubt it.  I can’t say it enough times: BE KIND TO YOURSELF.  You’ll never be able to truly love others until you do.  

Being kind to yourself does not mean you excuse wrong behavior, but it does mean loving yourself anyway, knowing that this depression is your opportunity to choose a new path.   

I know it’s tough, but YOU’LL MAKE IT!

I’ll be back on Monday.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

Handling the Noise

Good morning! 

Do you ever feel that the noise of the world is deafening?  You are watching your absolute favorite show on television when you get a call from someone AND the doorbell rings.  Add to that the chatter of housemates.  Then to top it off, you smell your dinner burning on the stove.  Sometimes your ears, brain, and body are so tired that you want to burst into tears.  And occasionally you do. 

Depression makes handling the variety and quantity of input all the harder.  You’re already feeling overloaded, so all the extras are like huge loads heaped upon your shoulders. 

Close your eyes and just BREATHE.  Take a few minutes to quiet your mind.  Remind yourself of Psalm 46:10…..”Be still, and know that I am God.” You may feel out of control, but He is not.  He holds the world in His hands.  Quiet your mind, and give your burdens to Him.  The noise in your life may very well still be there, but you can be assured that you are not alone.  And THAT is something you can include in your gratitude journal: you can thank God that He walks with you when you acknowledge Him as Lord and Savior.   Even the difficult times of life become bearable.

So hand your burdens to Him.  You will have a Rock that cannot be moved, a Strong Tower of defense, and an Anchor to hold you steady.   YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH.

 Keep using your tools.  I’ll be back on Friday.

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

The Rest Is Still Unwritten

Good morning! Are you feeling any better yet? YOU’LL GET THERE.

I want to share a song that many of you probably know: “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. This is another good song to download from iTunes. I especially love the lyrics “Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.” Isn’t that beautiful? Your future does not have to be a continuance of your present or past. Although life can throw curveballs, you can choose the general direction of your future. You can change course at any time in your life, but I think depression (or anything else that requires recovery) is the ideal opportunity. When you’re in the depths, you don’t feel like you have as much to lose if you make a change. During a “successful” phase, change is harder as you weigh the pros and cons. This is an example of what I meant early on when I said that someday, you will see this time in life as a blessing.

Whether it becomes a blessing or not depends on you. Will you use this opportunity to make something more of your life? You can turn from certain patterns of thinking and behaving that have not worked for you. If you spend time with people who encourage you to live a destructive lifestyle, here’s your chance to walk away and choose different friends. I don’t promise that it will be easy. Change is always difficult. But once you pass through the difficult part, you will arrive at a new comfort zone. If you have chosen your changes wisely, it will be a very good place.

Spend time thinking about what’s important in life. God? Family? Friends? What about character traits? Not personality, but character. Honesty, kindness, mercy, grace, gentleness, etc. Then start considering how to make it happen. For example, if you perpetually lie and yet value honesty, what can you do to help you get out of the habit of lying? Use your computer and library or bookstore to research how to get from point A to point B. Spend time with an individual who embodies the character trait or values you desire to achieve. This is a project that is well worth your effort.

What is more important to you? Avoiding relatively brief difficulty in changing or decades spent with a character that you can be proud of? Put the work in, and leave the rest in God’s hands.

I’ll be back on Monday!
Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013. Then read each consecutive entry, one per day. Welcome!

The Company You Keep

Good morning!

Have you started doing your 15 minutes of housework each day?  I like to put on some uplifting music and set the timer while I clean.  Fifteen minutes isn’t much, but soon you’ll see a big difference in your home.

This may sound cold, but I would advise you not to spend an extended amount of time hanging out with other depressed people right now.  You need to focus on your own recovery.  Realistically, the people we spend time with affect our moods.  Constant company with other depressed individuals will most likely keep you feeling the same.  Just remember, when you’re at the bottom of a well, you need someone on the outside to help pull you out.  Two struggling at the bottom is a very difficult task and one fraught with discouragement.  I know your heart wants to help them, too, and that you have the best of intentions.  But keep that for after you have recovered.  Then you will be better equipped to help them.  The best thing you can do for a depressed friend at this time is to point them in the right direction to get the help they need.  Refer them to a doctor or counselor, share with them a helpful book, suggest this or another website if those sites have been helpful to you. YOU’LL MAKE IT, and so will they, if they’re committed to overcoming their depression!!!! 

KEEP USING YOUR TOOLS!  You have a lot now.  Use as many as you can.  Remember, the list of tools is listed in the right sidebar under the “Categories” heading.

I’ll be back on Friday!

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!

River of Tears

Good morning!

OK, let’s get honest: have you cried in front of others at inappropriate times?  That was not a fun part of depression.  I would be holding it all together for the public, and, next thing you know, I’d be crying.  And they were never little tears.  No, I always seemed to make a spectacle of myself.  I was so embarrassed!

What can I tell you?  Just know that you’re not alone.  When you’re sitting at a table crying in front of friends, think of me in the same situation, heaving with sobs.  All I can say is YOU’LL SURVIVE.  I know all too well how embarrassing it is, but it wasn’t fatal.  And if the ones who witness your tears do perhaps drop your friendship, well, you’re better off knowing that they’re fair-weather friends.  I had one friend who was there for me throughout—saint that she was!!!  The others faded.  THAT IS OKAY.  I’ve got great friends now, who I’m actually more congenial with than the ones before.  I discovered new interests as I progressed through recovery, and my new friends share those interests and beliefs.  All is well.

Don’t let the tears make things worse.  They just are.  Let them out, and then get back on the saddle with your recovery tools.  YOU’LL GET THERE!

See you tomorrow!

Blessings, Elizabeth

*** If you are new to this blog, it is best to start by reading “About” and the first entry that was posted on May 13, 2013.  Then read each consecutive entry, one per day.  Welcome!